285) Daniel (Danya) Naroditsky, 1995-2025
The chess world received some extremely sad news yesterday, with the loss of GM Daniel Naroditsky.
283) Domestic Terrorism, Part 2 -- A challenge to men, all men. Yes, I'm talking to you.
Right now, teenage boys and young men all over the country have countless "influencers" telling them to hate. They need role models telling them the opposite.
277) The Children Remember: Toxic families, and how and why they resist change, growth, and healing
Children always remember. While adults spin their self-justifying stories, make their excuses, give their false wisdom about '“seeing the best in everybody” and having “good Christian values,
the children remember the stark, experiential truth….
269) A Trans Girl Playing Chess
You cannot TRY to live with wisdom. Kind of like Yoda said, “Do or do not; there is no try.” You cannot TRY to be authentic. You can just be authentic, or not. Because the simple truth is, if you are not fully connected within yourself, if you are not plugged into your Self, if you are not grounded in Love, then everything is half-hearted.
And as Rumi says, “Half-heartedness does not reach into majesty.”
265) The Doctrine of Original Awesomeness, Part 2 (Also, Day 33 -- Reason #33 to revolt against Predatory Capitalism)
Imagine how free, joyful, zestful, ALIVE people would feel if they grew up feeling USEFUL and LOVED by the people in their lives; if they grew up feeling they could contribute to their community, that they were respected, that even though they were still learning the skills of life, the adults around them HONOURED and VALUED them. Imagine how good that would have felt, when you were a kid.
264) The Doctrine of Original Awesomeness, Part 1 -- (Also, Day 32 -- Reason #32 to revolt against Predatory Capitalism)
Today I want to root out one of the biggest delusions in all human history. And replace it with a liberating, vibrant, beautiful, uplifting truth about “human nature”.
254) Day 22 -- Reason #22 to revolt against Predatory Capitalism: True Happiness
With very, very little in terms of material possessions, but rich in purpose, rich in play, and rich in love, you can be happy, every day, forever. And so can your loved ones, your neighbours, and people on the other side of the world. Happiness is not a zero-sum game, in which if one person gets more the others get less. But Predatory Capitalism, is.
231) Who, really, are your friends? Some reflections during the often-weirdly-lonely holidays
Truly, we’re never alone. And when we feel we are and that nobody cares, I suspect all it takes is some courage to reach out, and the social web responds, helping us realize that we’re embraced in a web of friendship, far greater than we generally appreciate.
221) I would like to continue to exist, please: The problem of Conservative rhetoric
I don’t like slippery slopes that lead to it being illegal for myself to exist.
217) Francisco, and the motivation to keep reaching out to the world (NOTE: Please forgive me if I have misspelled your name!!) :)
And Francisco? You changed my life just a few days ago, simply by saying hi. It was such a gesture of kindness. I have to tell you, you reinvigorated me to keep reaching out to the world.
215) Just one year of love, is better than a lifetime alone
When you realize who you really are, authenticity is instantaneous. And it’s the loveliest experience of my life.
203) The Emotional Lessons I Learned From Getting My Ass Kicked
I can THINK that I deserve to win. But my FEELINGS are different. In fact, the closer I get to winning, my emotions become a maelstrom of chaos. I don’t even know what I’m feeling in those moments. Just — squirrelly. And needless to say, squirrels suck at chess.
167) Thanks Mom: Intergenerational Wisdom, Part 2 -- Friendship and Community
I am coming to realize that this Tale of Aloneness was never actually true, and that what made me feel alone was simply Shame, not the reality of being disconnected from people.
When I look at my life from a different angle, then that same passage of time that seemed bereft of social connections was, in fact, RICH with relationships!
Realizing this has given me a sense of almost something like awe…
166) Thanks Mom: Intergenerational Wisdom, Part 1 -- Professor Dolderman
I want to share with you what is perhaps the most beautiful inheritance of wisdom that has passed through the generations of my family, and it’s one of the things I’m both proudest of and most grateful for in my life.
164) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 17: "Feeling Seen"
Being socially interdependent is built right into our DNA. It’s our existential evolutionary heritage; it’s the Wisdom of our Ancestors, shaping our very essence over the generations, giving us our strengths and the abilities we rely on for resilience in an often-harsh world.
163) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 16: The Final Step to Rational Self-analysis; Sub-section 4 -- Eating Better
With cooking, there are a few basic heuristics, that can REVOLUTIONIZE your cooking. Without becoming an expert, without memorizing a bunch of stuff, without following a bunch of recipes, you can still turn yourself from a frozen-pizza type of cook, to “Hey! This is really good!” type of cook.
162) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 16 - The Final Step to Rational Self-analysis; Sub-section 3 -- The Life-Altering Sorcery of Combining CONTEXT with Competence
The more precise you can get, in terms of the behaviours you need to undertake in order to accomplish your goals, the better. Because, once you have precisely identified The Things you need to Do, then, as illustrated above, you can pull the precise CONTEXTUAL levers that you need, in order to make Doing The Thing into the default, the Thing that is practically the easiest to do in that situation.
161) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 16: The Final Step to Rational Self-analysis; Sub-section 2 -- The Power of Context
The thing to emphasize for effective goal pursuit is emphatically NOT “taking personal responsibility.” While not COMPLETELY unimportant (obviously), this whole “make your bed” mantra is only a tiny, tiny piece of the puzzle, and if over-focused on, it becomes basically a huge, shaming, blaming, counterproductive, disempowering lie.
160) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 16: The Final Step to Rational Self-analysis; Sub-section 1: Give Up Your Willpower
Maaaan, you walk out of that theatre, your heart elevated, your eyes a little more open, your mind spinning with visions of your future awesomeness. You are READY!! Like, tomorrow, as soon as you wake up, you are STARTING. Success is YOURS. RRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
140) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 4 - Backlash (or, as my therapist likes to say, "Shame is a tricky bastard")
If you are on a path of healing, you are also on a path of backlash. It’ll happen, and when it does, it’s VERY HELPFUL to remember, it’s ok; it’s just a backlash; keep going.