272) Happy birthday, Clara
Rooted in authentic self-acceptance, in easy, free, love for your life, Joy is just there, moment by moment, from when you first open your eyes, to the middle of slurping your bowl of noodles, to walking down the street, to watching some TV show, to talking with a friend or reading a book. It’s just there.
It’s like how, when you wake up in the springtime and the windows are open, you hear birds. You just do. They’re just there, singing. Even on what might be a really tough day in your life, the birds sing.
269) A Trans Girl Playing Chess
You cannot TRY to live with wisdom. Kind of like Yoda said, “Do or do not; there is no try.” You cannot TRY to be authentic. You can just be authentic, or not. Because the simple truth is, if you are not fully connected within yourself, if you are not plugged into your Self, if you are not grounded in Love, then everything is half-hearted.
And as Rumi says, “Half-heartedness does not reach into majesty.”
221) I would like to continue to exist, please: The problem of Conservative rhetoric
I don’t like slippery slopes that lead to it being illegal for myself to exist.
218) Jordan Peterson’s “ideologically free anti-woke university” has launched. And, seriously, WTF?
Just as haters gonna hate, and transphobes gonna transphobe, Peterson gonna Peterson his bullshit more and more broadly as his right-wing hate-funded media machine and fan-base continues to make him richer and richer from his vitriol.
215) Just one year of love, is better than a lifetime alone
When you realize who you really are, authenticity is instantaneous. And it’s the loveliest experience of my life.
158) this trans life -- a spoken word poem
To me, being trans is beautiful, there’s nothing to be mourned
I don’t feel it like a death, I more feel like I’ve been reborn.
And, I cherish it.
153) "How did you know you were trans?" Part 7 - 'Gender Dysphoria Isn't What You Think'
I can say now, 100% open heartedly, that I know what life feels like when you love yourself. It’s gentler. Richer. There’s more loveliness in the little moments. It’s easier to savour the present. There’s less attachment to ”the shit”. You realize that “Joy” is actually a thing people feel, and not just a religious invention to make you think you need to believe in God. Your future starts to feel real, like it actually matters.
152) "How did you know you were trans?" Part 6 - "You don't have to change yourself; just accept who you are!"
The deep misunderstanding at work here, is rooted in the assumption that there IS a “natural” way that a given individual will walk, talk, dress and otherwise express themselves. If they’re a man, they’ll “naturally” walk, talk and dress “like a man”. If they’re a woman, then it’ll be “natural” to walk, talk and dress more feminine.
But think about it, do people walk, talk, dress and otherwise express manhood and womanhood the same, in different cultures?
151) "How did you know you were trans?" Part 5 - The Secret (until now...oops), Ancient Mystical Occult Ritual that turns you into a girl (or a guy, if you cast this spell in reverse)
This walking experiment — It really was that simple. If a trans awakening is the cracking of your egg, then this was my Humpty Dumpty moment. After those 4 or 5 steps, all the King’s men, and even all the King’s horses (Master Egg-Fixers that horses tend to be), could never have put my shell back together.
150) "How did you know you were trans?" Part 4 - Gorillas & bellydancers
This is the ultimate irony, I think, with the trans-phobia of the “Freedom” crowd. Because being trans? Setting your own dials where you most authentically feel they work best for you?
That’s true freedom.
149) "How did you know you were trans?" Part 3 - The Subtle Importance of Walking
Walking was highly instrumental in one of the first key ‘breakthroughs’ that I ever made in therapy. I remember the session well. My therapist was asking me to go into my memories and find a time in my childhood when I would say I felt really, deeply secure and strong in myself.
I sat there for quite a while.
148) "How did you know you were trans?" Part 2 - The Invisible Girl
I can swear, I can joke
I say what’s on my mind
If I drink, if I smoke
I keep up with the guys
And you see me holding up my middle finger to the world
Fuck your ribbons and your pearls
‘Cause I’m not just a pretty girl
147) "How did you know you were trans?" Part 1 - Escape from Alcatraz
What IS downright fascinating about this though, is HOW a person who has lived for all those years with a certain understanding, then comes to realize a whole different understanding (which they feel is the truth), about themselves!
It’s like, instead of asking how someone ended up in jail, ask them how they escaped! What was their “Get Out of Jail Free” card?
There is a deep lesson in here that goes far beyond being trans gender or cis gender or whatever else. It gets down to the foundation of what it means to feel like we are Somebody at all.
146) Clara Dolderman: My coming out story
People who are in transition, or who are questioning their gender and trying to figure themselves out, really need acceptance, because let me tell you, the more that your social world threatens to reject you, the WAY harder this ends up being for the person. They need to accept themselves, because it’s Who They Are. And it sure is a lot harder to accept and love yourself, if the people around you don’t.