140) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 4 - Backlash (or, as my therapist likes to say, "Shame is a tricky bastard")
If you are on a path of healing, you are also on a path of backlash. It’ll happen, and when it does, it’s VERY HELPFUL to remember, it’s ok; it’s just a backlash; keep going.
139) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 3 - The Spontaneous, Seemingly-Magical Transformation of Motivation
Keep in mind, the “self help industry” is an INDUSTRY. It, decidedly, does NOT thrive on wellness, but ironically, on illness. Nothing quite as good for the bottom line than repeat customers!
138) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 2 -- The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Self-Improvement
Keeping an open mind & heart is one of the most fundamental necessities of a healthy life, and of wisdom in general. It seems terribly difficult for people, especially some people, to do this, to accept the uncertainty of opening to new ways of thinking, or to appreciate values, lifestyles, beliefs, that are different from their own.
137) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 1: The struggle and the miracle
Do you struggle with this feeling, like you “can’t” share positive things about yourself? Do you know where it comes from? Because that’s a pretty good place to start if you want to get through it, and eventually be free from it
136) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 15: FACT Exercise #2 -- Choosing Meaning over Control
If you feel shitty, that’s ok. I mean, it’s not exactly great, like yay, yippee, I feel shitty! No, but its “ok” in the sense that feeling shitty is just part of life. It’s inevitable.
But we have more strength than we are so often willing to tap into. If we HAVE TO, we can overcome those shitty feelings. At least for a while. At least for long enough to get some Really Important Things done.
135) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 14: FACT Exercise #1 -- Focusing
The thing about telescopes (and microscopes, and binoculars), is that you can’t see shit out of them until you get them aimed and focused properly. Before you do that, they’re actually worse than your naked eyes; everything is just a blur and you have no idea what you’re looking at.
Self-healing and personal growth are exactly like that. Until you know what you’re aiming at, and focus yourself properly, you’re not going to get anywhere by “trying to improve”. You might even get worse, because there’s nothing quite like failing, for someone who struggles not to feel like a failure.
134) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 13: Avoiding the Shit
The only thing we really get better at by avoiding our problems, is avoiding our problems. We become Level 10 Shit Avoiders. Our defence mechanisms, fantasy thinking, distractions and other “coping strategies” become our super-powers. Pretty shitty super-powers, eh? No wonder Marvel and DC don’t have movies about Avoidance Man fighting bad guys….
133) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 12: You are strong enough
If it’s been hard to read this, I’m sorry. But if it’s the truth, then it’s the truth.
This can change. You are strong enough. Your ancestors made sure of that.
132) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 11: FACT cares about your feelings
This is about YOU, living the way your heart most deeply desires. It’s about YOU finding your life more meaningful. It’s about learning to intuitively connect with that which makes your heart sing. And if you’re doing THAT, then who cares how much someone else has accomplished?
131) Stranger Things, Part 5: Some wee critiques, and a suggestion; or Why Is Henry so Damn Evil???
The biggest unexplored ‘hole’ in the show, which would be SO COOL to unpack, is why Henry is so evil in the first place. Like, he’s a mega-scale psycho, right from when he was a kid. Are we just supposed to assume he was born that way? Victor Kreel talks about him being “sensitive”, and so, it seems we are either supposed to assume he was genetically psychotic, or that his sensitive nature caused him to get possessed by the demonic power in the Upside Down? Either are, of course, possible, but not very satisfying.
130) Stranger Things, Part 4: How the Great Evil will be defeated
So, how will the Great Evil finally be defeated? How will the heroes possibly prevail, as Hell gets unleashed on Earth?
Dustin! One more drum roll, please…
129) Stranger Things, Part 3: The Master of Puppets
So who IS the Lord of this Realm, the creator of Vecna, the true Master of Puppets who has been pulling the strings the whole time?
128) Stranger Things, Part 2: Eleven's real "papa"
One of the enduring mysteries of the show is, WHO is Eleven’s true “papa”?
Well…(Dustin! Drum roll please….)
127) Stranger Things, Part 1: I am finally cool (Plus, some Season 5 plot predictions)
These predictions may already be out there in the world, but these are based on my own reasoning and, thus, if the writers of the show turn out to make me look like a fool, then so be it; the foolishness is all mine.
But if….no, WHEN I am proven to be right, I will unabashedly bask in the knowledge that I am a genius! Hahaha! Take THAT, Socrates!
126) All Cops Are Not (Necessarily) Bastards: The Inescapability of Hypocrisy for Inherently Flawed and Limited Humans
To be honest, I don’t know quite what to do with this whole thing. I still judge the police, mostly, for their aggressiveness, too-frequent callousness and lack of empathy, and for the oh-so-painfully-slow pace of the institution evolving in a progressive direction. I still judge the many, many officers I have witnessed engage in unnecessary violence at peaceful protests. I still will raise my children to avoid calling the cops for most situations involving vulnerable people, based on my conviction that the police will likely make the situation worse. I still will advocate for and attend protests and sign petitions calling for police reform and demilitarizing them and holding public inquiries for police violence and redistributing a big chunk of their budgets to community-level organizations, mental health workers, and the like. But….
125) If I Could Write a Poem
I want to write a poem about beauty and love and laughter and kindness and inspiration and heroes, about Grandma’s hands, and Grandpa’s chuckles, and the smell of the dog I had as a child and the sweet tartness of apples and the purring pleasure of an orgasm and snowflakes sparkling in sunlight and those moments when you feel hushed and perfect and there’s no need to say anything…
124) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 10: Finding out who you really are: Rational self-analysis
The family of techniques I am calling “rational self-analysis”, work, therefore, by orienting you towards things that are compatible with your “authenticity”. As you decide, discover, and become more aware of “who you really are”, you will therefore pattern your life more effectively around things that are compatible with your authentic self. Instead of running around trying to please other people all the time, or trying to hide or make up for your perceived deficiencies, or trying to “cope” with the stresses of life, you will instead be more capable at exercising your agency effectively. You will become a more powerful actor in the world.
123) Arm the kids. (Sort of.)
Give those kids some training, and pretty soon, any person who wants to take down a school is going to face an army. And no, I don’t want a society where kids form armies for their own survival. But we already have a society where kids go to school and get killed. Regularly. So personally, I’d choose my kids being in an kid-army in their classrooms, bonding with their peers, knowing how to take care of themselves, and knowing that their friends “have their backs”, far more than I’d choose my kids being trained to be helpless, in a society that so readily arms killers.
122) All cops are bastards: School shootings, the police, and taking back our society
Now, we are told that the police are “to serve and protect”. That is, to serve and protect us, the public.
My experience has repeatedly shown me this is not true.
121) When you feel you've been turned into a newt
I whispered, “Waking up this morning, I smile.” The corners of my mouth stretched, effortfully, upwards into a smile. The rest of my face did not follow. My heart did not follow. The inauthenticity of my smile was so jarring, I said, out loud, “Yeah, fuck this.”