126) All Cops Are Not (Necessarily) Bastards:  The Inescapability of Hypocrisy for Inherently Flawed and Limited Humans

126) All Cops Are Not (Necessarily) Bastards: The Inescapability of Hypocrisy for Inherently Flawed and Limited Humans

To be honest, I don’t know quite what to do with this whole thing.  I still judge the police, mostly, for their aggressiveness, too-frequent callousness and lack of empathy, and for the oh-so-painfully-slow pace of the institution evolving in a progressive direction.  I still judge the many, many officers I have witnessed engage in unnecessary violence at peaceful protests. I still will raise my children to avoid calling the cops for most situations involving vulnerable people, based on my conviction that the police will likely make the situation worse.  I still will advocate for and attend protests and sign petitions calling for police reform and demilitarizing them and holding public inquiries for police violence and redistributing a big chunk of their budgets to community-level organizations, mental health workers, and the like.  But….

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125) If I Could Write a Poem

125) If I Could Write a Poem

I want to write a poem about beauty and love and laughter and kindness and inspiration and heroes, about Grandma’s hands, and Grandpa’s chuckles,  and the smell of the dog I had as a child and the sweet tartness of apples and the purring pleasure of an orgasm and snowflakes sparkling in sunlight and those moments when you feel hushed and perfect and there’s no need to say anything…

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124) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 10:  Finding out who you really are:  Rational self-analysis

124) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 10: Finding out who you really are:  Rational self-analysis

The family of techniques I am calling “rational self-analysis”, work, therefore, by orienting you towards things that are compatible with your “authenticity”.  As you decide, discover, and become more aware of “who you really are”, you will therefore pattern your life more effectively around things that are compatible with your authentic self.  Instead of running around trying to please other people all the time, or trying to hide or make up for your perceived deficiencies, or trying to “cope” with the stresses of life, you will instead be more capable at exercising your agency effectively.  You will become a more powerful actor in the world.

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123)  Arm the kids.  (Sort of.)

123) Arm the kids. (Sort of.)

Give those kids some training, and pretty soon, any person who wants to take down a school is going to face an army. And no, I don’t want a society where kids form armies for their own survival. But we already have a society where kids go to school and get killed. Regularly. So personally, I’d choose my kids being in an kid-army in their classrooms, bonding with their peers, knowing how to take care of themselves, and knowing that their friends “have their backs”, far more than I’d choose my kids being trained to be helpless, in a society that so readily arms killers.

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120) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 9:  Healing, and the Doctrine of Original Awesomeness

120) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 9: Healing, and the Doctrine of Original Awesomeness

As far as I’m concerned, healing is dramatically NOT about self-improvement. It’s NOT the positivity movement. It’s not changing yourself, fixing yourself, or achieving anything, really. It’s not goals. It’s not a vision board. It’s not “believe until you achieve.” It’s just BEING, yourSelf. It’s learning/remembering to be who you already are. Who you were born as. Who you have always been.

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118) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 7:  Resistance, the sneaky bastard

118) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 7: Resistance, the sneaky bastard

Society’s general response to this, ubiquitously shared from the well-meaning friend to the well-meaning internet commenter, from the self-help speaker to the solutions-oriented therapist, is, in essence, just do it. Just change. Just stop thinking the bad thoughts and holding on to the negative beliefs. Just stop focusing on yourself and your problems and look at how you can be of service to others. Just stop feeling sorry for yourself for all the things that haven’t been perfect, and practice gratitude for all the blessings in your life. Not uncommonly nowadays, I hear echoes of Jordan Peterson, sternly telling Bucko to sort himself out.

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116) Dealing with the Devil: Adventures in parenting, Part 4 — Role-play, kids, and personal growth
Psychology Psychology

116) Dealing with the Devil: Adventures in parenting, Part 4 — Role-play, kids, and personal growth

One of the most basic, “meta” points that I know for sure sunk into my kids’ minds from their encounter with Asmodeus (and others that have occurred subsequently), is the fact that the best lies, the most devious propaganda, the most slippery, manipulative messages, are built out of the truth.  The more truth that’s in the lie, the better it is.  The absolute best un-truths will be built entirely out of truths, put together in such a way that, holistically, as “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”, they take on a different kind of meaning.

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115) Dealing with the Devil:  Adventures in parenting, Part 3 — Philosophizing with Asmodeus

115) Dealing with the Devil:  Adventures in parenting, Part 3 — Philosophizing with Asmodeus

“What happens during war is terrible, Siskenet.  Terrible, but necessary, until the Hierarchy establishes itself and stabilizes things.”

“The Hierarchy?”  Siskenet scoffed.  “You mean like, until you control everything, right?  Like, things are ‘stable’, because everyone who was fighting against you is, what, dead?”

The man shook his head.  “No Siskenet.  Hierarchy should never be imposed.  It should evolve naturally.  It’s like they say, ‘the cream rises to the top.’  Right?”

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114) Dealing with the Devil:  Adventures in parenting, Part 2 - Asmodeus and Siskenet

114) Dealing with the Devil:  Adventures in parenting, Part 2 - Asmodeus and Siskenet

Siskenet crossed his arms.  “Fine.  You want me to trust you?  Let’s start with you showing me what you really look like.  Nothing to hide, right?”

“No tea then?”  The man sighed.  “Very well.  But there is nothing to show you, Siskenet.  I have no true form.”

“But…how….  What do you mean?  That doesn’t even make sense.” Siskenet set it firmly in his mind, he wasn’t going to be persuaded by whatever this Demon said.  It was a Demon! They were in the Hells.  He must not forget that, no matter how slick this creature’s whole schtick was.

“I’m an abstraction.  A coalescence of patterns that very commonly replicate in consciousness, throughout the self-aware, sentient creatures of the worlds.”  The man smiled, spreading his hands and shrugging.  “It’s kind of hard to explain.”

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112) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 6:  Backlash, resistance, and dissociation

112) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 6: Backlash, resistance, and dissociation

In the example of procrastination, your wiser self (or maybe it’s your motivated, goal-striving self) knows that Doing The Thing is the right thing to do, and has convinced itself that it WANTS to do that thing.  It will feel a sense of self-integrity, authenticity, if it follows through on its intentions.   

But then there’s a bunch of other selves.  And they say, “Fuck Doing The Thing; I want to Do a Different Thing.”

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110) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 4: Healing, when you hate yourself

110) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 4: Healing, when you hate yourself

In any case, you’re going to hate Backlash.  And you’re going to feel like Backlash hates you too.  No matter how many times you make excellent, rock-solid plans to “get better”, Backlash is, for sure, going to come along and screw them all up.  That’s just what it does.  Asking it not to is like asking a dog not to wag its tail or a cat not to act superior to the idiotic dog wagging its tail.

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