139) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 3 - The Spontaneous, Seemingly-Magical Transformation of Motivation
Keep in mind, the “self help industry” is an INDUSTRY. It, decidedly, does NOT thrive on wellness, but ironically, on illness. Nothing quite as good for the bottom line than repeat customers!
138) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 2 -- The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Self-Improvement
Keeping an open mind & heart is one of the most fundamental necessities of a healthy life, and of wisdom in general. It seems terribly difficult for people, especially some people, to do this, to accept the uncertainty of opening to new ways of thinking, or to appreciate values, lifestyles, beliefs, that are different from their own.
137) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 1: The struggle and the miracle
Do you struggle with this feeling, like you “can’t” share positive things about yourself? Do you know where it comes from? Because that’s a pretty good place to start if you want to get through it, and eventually be free from it
136) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 15: FACT Exercise #2 -- Choosing Meaning over Control
If you feel shitty, that’s ok. I mean, it’s not exactly great, like yay, yippee, I feel shitty! No, but its “ok” in the sense that feeling shitty is just part of life. It’s inevitable.
But we have more strength than we are so often willing to tap into. If we HAVE TO, we can overcome those shitty feelings. At least for a while. At least for long enough to get some Really Important Things done.
135) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 14: FACT Exercise #1 -- Focusing
The thing about telescopes (and microscopes, and binoculars), is that you can’t see shit out of them until you get them aimed and focused properly. Before you do that, they’re actually worse than your naked eyes; everything is just a blur and you have no idea what you’re looking at.
Self-healing and personal growth are exactly like that. Until you know what you’re aiming at, and focus yourself properly, you’re not going to get anywhere by “trying to improve”. You might even get worse, because there’s nothing quite like failing, for someone who struggles not to feel like a failure.
134) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 13: Avoiding the Shit
The only thing we really get better at by avoiding our problems, is avoiding our problems. We become Level 10 Shit Avoiders. Our defence mechanisms, fantasy thinking, distractions and other “coping strategies” become our super-powers. Pretty shitty super-powers, eh? No wonder Marvel and DC don’t have movies about Avoidance Man fighting bad guys….
133) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 12: You are strong enough
If it’s been hard to read this, I’m sorry. But if it’s the truth, then it’s the truth.
This can change. You are strong enough. Your ancestors made sure of that.
132) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 11: FACT cares about your feelings
This is about YOU, living the way your heart most deeply desires. It’s about YOU finding your life more meaningful. It’s about learning to intuitively connect with that which makes your heart sing. And if you’re doing THAT, then who cares how much someone else has accomplished?
131) Stranger Things, Part 5: Some wee critiques, and a suggestion; or Why Is Henry so Damn Evil???
The biggest unexplored ‘hole’ in the show, which would be SO COOL to unpack, is why Henry is so evil in the first place. Like, he’s a mega-scale psycho, right from when he was a kid. Are we just supposed to assume he was born that way? Victor Kreel talks about him being “sensitive”, and so, it seems we are either supposed to assume he was genetically psychotic, or that his sensitive nature caused him to get possessed by the demonic power in the Upside Down? Either are, of course, possible, but not very satisfying.
124) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 10: Finding out who you really are: Rational self-analysis
The family of techniques I am calling “rational self-analysis”, work, therefore, by orienting you towards things that are compatible with your “authenticity”. As you decide, discover, and become more aware of “who you really are”, you will therefore pattern your life more effectively around things that are compatible with your authentic self. Instead of running around trying to please other people all the time, or trying to hide or make up for your perceived deficiencies, or trying to “cope” with the stresses of life, you will instead be more capable at exercising your agency effectively. You will become a more powerful actor in the world.
121) When you feel you've been turned into a newt
I whispered, “Waking up this morning, I smile.” The corners of my mouth stretched, effortfully, upwards into a smile. The rest of my face did not follow. My heart did not follow. The inauthenticity of my smile was so jarring, I said, out loud, “Yeah, fuck this.”
120) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 9: Healing, and the Doctrine of Original Awesomeness
As far as I’m concerned, healing is dramatically NOT about self-improvement. It’s NOT the positivity movement. It’s not changing yourself, fixing yourself, or achieving anything, really. It’s not goals. It’s not a vision board. It’s not “believe until you achieve.” It’s just BEING, yourSelf. It’s learning/remembering to be who you already are. Who you were born as. Who you have always been.
119) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 8: Oops, I fucked up
Once we are the center of someone’s world, or at least are manipulated into believing that we are, we become like putty in their hands. And once they started being unhappy with us, finding faults, being displeased, criticizing, criticizing, criticizing, we’ll knot ourselves into a pretzel trying to make things right again.
118) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 7: Resistance, the sneaky bastard
Society’s general response to this, ubiquitously shared from the well-meaning friend to the well-meaning internet commenter, from the self-help speaker to the solutions-oriented therapist, is, in essence, just do it. Just change. Just stop thinking the bad thoughts and holding on to the negative beliefs. Just stop focusing on yourself and your problems and look at how you can be of service to others. Just stop feeling sorry for yourself for all the things that haven’t been perfect, and practice gratitude for all the blessings in your life. Not uncommonly nowadays, I hear echoes of Jordan Peterson, sternly telling Bucko to sort himself out.
116) Dealing with the Devil: Adventures in parenting, Part 4 — Role-play, kids, and personal growth
One of the most basic, “meta” points that I know for sure sunk into my kids’ minds from their encounter with Asmodeus (and others that have occurred subsequently), is the fact that the best lies, the most devious propaganda, the most slippery, manipulative messages, are built out of the truth. The more truth that’s in the lie, the better it is. The absolute best un-truths will be built entirely out of truths, put together in such a way that, holistically, as “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”, they take on a different kind of meaning.
115) Dealing with the Devil: Adventures in parenting, Part 3 — Philosophizing with Asmodeus
“What happens during war is terrible, Siskenet. Terrible, but necessary, until the Hierarchy establishes itself and stabilizes things.”
“The Hierarchy?” Siskenet scoffed. “You mean like, until you control everything, right? Like, things are ‘stable’, because everyone who was fighting against you is, what, dead?”
The man shook his head. “No Siskenet. Hierarchy should never be imposed. It should evolve naturally. It’s like they say, ‘the cream rises to the top.’ Right?”
114) Dealing with the Devil: Adventures in parenting, Part 2 - Asmodeus and Siskenet
Siskenet crossed his arms. “Fine. You want me to trust you? Let’s start with you showing me what you really look like. Nothing to hide, right?”
“No tea then?” The man sighed. “Very well. But there is nothing to show you, Siskenet. I have no true form.”
“But…how…. What do you mean? That doesn’t even make sense.” Siskenet set it firmly in his mind, he wasn’t going to be persuaded by whatever this Demon said. It was a Demon! They were in the Hells. He must not forget that, no matter how slick this creature’s whole schtick was.
“I’m an abstraction. A coalescence of patterns that very commonly replicate in consciousness, throughout the self-aware, sentient creatures of the worlds.” The man smiled, spreading his hands and shrugging. “It’s kind of hard to explain.”
113) Dealing with the Devil: Adventures in parenting, Part 1 - A Sentient Universe
So, the other day, my kids and I made a deal with Baphomet.
It was our second time making a deal with a Lord of Evil.
Hmmm, you may be getting the wrong impression here. Let me explain.
112) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 6: Backlash, resistance, and dissociation
In the example of procrastination, your wiser self (or maybe it’s your motivated, goal-striving self) knows that Doing The Thing is the right thing to do, and has convinced itself that it WANTS to do that thing. It will feel a sense of self-integrity, authenticity, if it follows through on its intentions.
But then there’s a bunch of other selves. And they say, “Fuck Doing The Thing; I want to Do a Different Thing.”
111) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 5: What Backlash can teach us about ourselves
But the inner emptiness eventually must be faced. We crash, through relationship failure, career burnout, addictions spiralling, etc. In one way or another, karma catches up with us.