15) Seize the Carp!!
Walking down the street, one of the last sunny fall days. The higher-pitch of a voice that has only been in use less than eleven years bounces up.
“Do you…do you ever think about….?” Pause. I lean in, as this seems important. We continue walking...leaves skittering….
12) Ninja Training, Part 3: My first Habit
You will probably find this implicit layer of self-criticism and disappointment/rejection behind most of your own failed goal attempts. this is your “Inner Critic.” We’re going to talk more in the future about what to do about this nasty person most of us have allowed to take up residence in our psyche. But for now, we can’t slay, or heal that Inner Critic here, so we’re going to outsmart it instead.
11) Ninja Training, part 2: WISE goals
I am presenting to the world, the Dolderman Theory of Intrinsic Motivation. This is rooted in complex systems thinking, humanistic psychology, and modern integrative social-developmental neuroscience. But for now, let’s stick with the fun, useful part.
My claim: WISE goals rule, especially for long-term happiness. They wipe the walls with those silly SMART goals we’re always being coached to set….
What are WISE goals? They are Wicked, Illuminating, Sexy, and Effervescent
10.1) Important theory stuff if you're skeptical about Intrinsic Motivation
Rather than our culture’s general obsession with “happiness”, this deeper kind of fulfillment hearkens back to the ancient idea of eudaimonia (you-die-moan-ee-ah). Which, when you spell it out phonetically like that, sounds pretty morbid. But it’s actually way cooler than dying and moaning. It roughly means “excellence”.
10) Ninja Training -- Habit Change, part 1 (or how to stop "being a loser")
One thing life has taught me, is that my generically good intentions to do cool things with myself in the future, usually don’t pan out, if left to ‘just happen.’ I haven’t learned the languages or instruments I thought I would have, travelled to most of the places, donated as much time or money to helping people, watched as many sunsets. It’s the classic problem. And sure, I’ve done some cool things in my life…but there’s so much I’ve never gotten around to…
9) Stop trying to hit me. And hit me!
But have I ever “really engaged”? Seen what I could really do? Rose to the challenges of my own desire for personal growth and authenticity? Or have I merely placated my desires with the fantasy of “that time in the future” — when I yell my battle cry, shake the dust out of my soul, and “really give ‘er”. And man, it’s gonna be GLORIOUS! I’m going to change EVERYTHING!
8) Gobble Gobble
When you face loss, which we all do, and the loss is one that you feel with the full gooeyness of your heart, and you sit and weep, tears dripping freely off your face….and that feeling inside? That aching, burning, desperate, gasping desire to do ANYTHING to go back in time and change how this has turned out? That feeling is one of the worst feelings in the world.
And gratitude is the gift that it brings. All you have to do is unwrap the soul-crushing, heart-splaying agony that it is wrapped in. And then, my friend, gratitude can be yours.
7) Beauty eh?
You will find, all of a sudden, that most of the stationary objects in the landscape kind of fade out of your vision, almost disappearing. But ANYTHING moving becomes highly salient. With no warning, suddenly you will see movement everywhere, and your visual field will be filled with swaying grasses, fluttering leaves, buzzing insects, and clouds scudding gently along far above. You may even start to feel like you are no longer standing in a landscape of discrete objects, but instead, a humming, throbbing, interwoven, boundary-less, dynamic process of Life.
2) Hillel the Elder
Now I’m 43 years old. And I see all these doors opening into richness. But I didn’t step through them.
Am I going to, before I’m 53? 63? 73?
If not now, when?
And you?
