265) The Doctrine of Original Awesomeness, Part 2 (Also, Day 33 -- Reason #33 to revolt against Predatory Capitalism)
Imagine how free, joyful, zestful, ALIVE people would feel if they grew up feeling USEFUL and LOVED by the people in their lives; if they grew up feeling they could contribute to their community, that they were respected, that even though they were still learning the skills of life, the adults around them HONOURED and VALUED them. Imagine how good that would have felt, when you were a kid.
264) The Doctrine of Original Awesomeness, Part 1 -- (Also, Day 32 -- Reason #32 to revolt against Predatory Capitalism)
Today I want to root out one of the biggest delusions in all human history. And replace it with a liberating, vibrant, beautiful, uplifting truth about “human nature”.
166) Thanks Mom: Intergenerational Wisdom, Part 1 -- Professor Dolderman
I want to share with you what is perhaps the most beautiful inheritance of wisdom that has passed through the generations of my family, and it’s one of the things I’m both proudest of and most grateful for in my life.
164) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 17: "Feeling Seen"
Being socially interdependent is built right into our DNA. It’s our existential evolutionary heritage; it’s the Wisdom of our Ancestors, shaping our very essence over the generations, giving us our strengths and the abilities we rely on for resilience in an often-harsh world.
163) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 16: The Final Step to Rational Self-analysis; Sub-section 4 -- Eating Better
With cooking, there are a few basic heuristics, that can REVOLUTIONIZE your cooking. Without becoming an expert, without memorizing a bunch of stuff, without following a bunch of recipes, you can still turn yourself from a frozen-pizza type of cook, to “Hey! This is really good!” type of cook.
162) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 16 - The Final Step to Rational Self-analysis; Sub-section 3 -- The Life-Altering Sorcery of Combining CONTEXT with Competence
The more precise you can get, in terms of the behaviours you need to undertake in order to accomplish your goals, the better. Because, once you have precisely identified The Things you need to Do, then, as illustrated above, you can pull the precise CONTEXTUAL levers that you need, in order to make Doing The Thing into the default, the Thing that is practically the easiest to do in that situation.
161) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 16: The Final Step to Rational Self-analysis; Sub-section 2 -- The Power of Context
The thing to emphasize for effective goal pursuit is emphatically NOT “taking personal responsibility.” While not COMPLETELY unimportant (obviously), this whole “make your bed” mantra is only a tiny, tiny piece of the puzzle, and if over-focused on, it becomes basically a huge, shaming, blaming, counterproductive, disempowering lie.
160) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 16: The Final Step to Rational Self-analysis; Sub-section 1: Give Up Your Willpower
Maaaan, you walk out of that theatre, your heart elevated, your eyes a little more open, your mind spinning with visions of your future awesomeness. You are READY!! Like, tomorrow, as soon as you wake up, you are STARTING. Success is YOURS. RRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
152) "How did you know you were trans?" Part 6 - "You don't have to change yourself; just accept who you are!"
The deep misunderstanding at work here, is rooted in the assumption that there IS a “natural” way that a given individual will walk, talk, dress and otherwise express themselves. If they’re a man, they’ll “naturally” walk, talk and dress “like a man”. If they’re a woman, then it’ll be “natural” to walk, talk and dress more feminine.
But think about it, do people walk, talk, dress and otherwise express manhood and womanhood the same, in different cultures?
150) "How did you know you were trans?" Part 4 - Gorillas & bellydancers
This is the ultimate irony, I think, with the trans-phobia of the “Freedom” crowd. Because being trans? Setting your own dials where you most authentically feel they work best for you?
That’s true freedom.
149) "How did you know you were trans?" Part 3 - The Subtle Importance of Walking
Walking was highly instrumental in one of the first key ‘breakthroughs’ that I ever made in therapy. I remember the session well. My therapist was asking me to go into my memories and find a time in my childhood when I would say I felt really, deeply secure and strong in myself.
I sat there for quite a while.
140) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 4 - Backlash (or, as my therapist likes to say, "Shame is a tricky bastard")
If you are on a path of healing, you are also on a path of backlash. It’ll happen, and when it does, it’s VERY HELPFUL to remember, it’s ok; it’s just a backlash; keep going.
139) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 3 - The Spontaneous, Seemingly-Magical Transformation of Motivation
Keep in mind, the “self help industry” is an INDUSTRY. It, decidedly, does NOT thrive on wellness, but ironically, on illness. Nothing quite as good for the bottom line than repeat customers!
138) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 2 -- The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Self-Improvement
Keeping an open mind & heart is one of the most fundamental necessities of a healthy life, and of wisdom in general. It seems terribly difficult for people, especially some people, to do this, to accept the uncertainty of opening to new ways of thinking, or to appreciate values, lifestyles, beliefs, that are different from their own.
137) Wow…weird. I healed: Part 1: The struggle and the miracle
Do you struggle with this feeling, like you “can’t” share positive things about yourself? Do you know where it comes from? Because that’s a pretty good place to start if you want to get through it, and eventually be free from it
136) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 15: FACT Exercise #2 -- Choosing Meaning over Control
If you feel shitty, that’s ok. I mean, it’s not exactly great, like yay, yippee, I feel shitty! No, but its “ok” in the sense that feeling shitty is just part of life. It’s inevitable.
But we have more strength than we are so often willing to tap into. If we HAVE TO, we can overcome those shitty feelings. At least for a while. At least for long enough to get some Really Important Things done.
135) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 14: FACT Exercise #1 -- Focusing
The thing about telescopes (and microscopes, and binoculars), is that you can’t see shit out of them until you get them aimed and focused properly. Before you do that, they’re actually worse than your naked eyes; everything is just a blur and you have no idea what you’re looking at.
Self-healing and personal growth are exactly like that. Until you know what you’re aiming at, and focus yourself properly, you’re not going to get anywhere by “trying to improve”. You might even get worse, because there’s nothing quite like failing, for someone who struggles not to feel like a failure.
134) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 13: Avoiding the Shit
The only thing we really get better at by avoiding our problems, is avoiding our problems. We become Level 10 Shit Avoiders. Our defence mechanisms, fantasy thinking, distractions and other “coping strategies” become our super-powers. Pretty shitty super-powers, eh? No wonder Marvel and DC don’t have movies about Avoidance Man fighting bad guys….
133) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 12: You are strong enough
If it’s been hard to read this, I’m sorry. But if it’s the truth, then it’s the truth.
This can change. You are strong enough. Your ancestors made sure of that.
132) From Shitty-ness to Well-ness, Part 11: FACT cares about your feelings
This is about YOU, living the way your heart most deeply desires. It’s about YOU finding your life more meaningful. It’s about learning to intuitively connect with that which makes your heart sing. And if you’re doing THAT, then who cares how much someone else has accomplished?