274) The Canadian Chess Championship
I had a very odd feeling this morning. Doing some final preparation for the Canadian Chess Championship, it struck me (as it does most days now), just how surreal it is, to be sitting in this part of the world thinking about chess theory, when in other very-closely-related parts of the world, fascism is in full bloom, innocents are being sent to concentration camps, human rights are being rendered utterly meaningless, and lives are being upended, ruined, and destroyed based on the whims of a hateful minority of rich people.
To what end, then, does one play chess? How can you justify sitting at a laptop studying theory for a game, when society is teetering on a tipping point, past which is only madness?
And I realized, this is the Existential Choice we make at all moments of our lives, for there is always suffering, always injustice. Is life, therefore, to be nothing but grim resistance? Every moment, every day, fighting, fighting, fighting?
But it’s not that simple. Our “existential choice” is not between two binaries, one being resistance and the other…selfish indulgence?
No, it’s not nearly that simple.
I saw at a protest a couple of weeks ago, a sign that really struck a chord in me — “Joy IS Resistance.”
THAT is the answer.
Because if the powerful, the corrupt, the despotic and prejudiced, can reduce our lives to nothing but “grim resistance”, then they have won. They have taken over our very lives, determining FOR us what the quality of our lives will be, by the simple fact that they have drawn the battle lines, and forced us to stand on one side of it.
But if we resist anything, ever, then the very essence of that resistance is, indeed, Joy. Love. Compassion. Rest. Laughter. Play. Art. It is to seize for ourselves, moments when we can step back from the horror, and say, “No, you will not determine my life for me.”
Whatever the purpose of life is (if indeed, there is any at all), it must have to do with the phenomenological quality of life, the quality of our moments of being. It MUST have to do with joy. With concentrated immersion in the pursuit of excellence. With play. With community.
So this is why we continue going about our lives, pursuing all the mundanities of everyday life. Dancing while we do the dishes. Singing while we shower. Goofing around with friends, and laughing from our bellies.
It’s why we continue caring about the sports teams we care about. Why we continue watching the shows we watch. Why we continue caring whether our child does their homework, whether we’ve done our laundry recently, whether we have gotten enough sleep.
And it’s why I’m preparing for the Canadian Championship. It starts in less than 3 hours now, and I’m going to be playing a titled player vastly superior in rank than myself. What an opportunity!! What a chance to push myself past what I’ve previously thought were my limits! What a chance to feel ZEST, to learn, to grow, to face an opponent in an honest sharing of vigourous sportspersonship, and in the end, win or lose, we both win. Because we showed up and faced each other, and did our best, and strove for excellence, creating something beautiful together — a moment of Life, well lived.
If we stop playing, They win. But if we retain our fascination, our love, and indeed, our joy, They can never win. Life remains ours to live, to embrace, and to be grateful for.
And besides, we are human. We need rest. We need play. We need joy. It’s restorative. It recharges our batteries, reinforces our zest, and energizes our souls. So that tomorrow, or whenever, when we must stand once again against the Powerful and commit to suffering for what is Right and Good, we will be that much stronger, that much more resilient, and that much more grounded in What Really Matters.
This IS resistance.