296) The Salvation of Eden, Chapter 60 — Strictly business

A small grey squirrel with an extra-fluffy tail, looking very similar to a squirrel they had once known, surveyed them from the cave mouth. Standing up on its hind legs, it waved.

Lenny noticed first. “Oh, hey Squirrelly!”

Kohra whirled around. “Reilly! No! No! You can't....” But Squirrelly jumped over the edge, and was gone. Kohra scrambled forward, peering out. Squirrelly was moving fast, already a quarter of the way to the storage shed. “Dom!” she panicked. “Stop her!”

But none of them could stop her, and they all knew it. 

Lenny chortled, “That’s one way to settle an argument.”

They all lay on their bellies, peering over the rim of the cave with equal parts awe, pride, and horror, as the little squirrel made it to the storage building, then disappeared around the corner.

* * * * *

She was gone for two hours. Kohra was so strung out with worry she picked her fingers until they bled.

Finally, the meeting ended, the merchants and their bodyguards started walking back toward the stone houses, and the woman in the red dress returned, head held high, to the trees.

“Reilly’s coming back!” Lenny pointed as the little squirrel zoomed around the corner of the storage building. “Man, she’s really hoofing it!”

“Pawing?” Dominic snickered.

“Yeah, she’s really pawing it,” Lenny affirmed, panting and “pawing” Dominic with one hand like a dog asking for a treat. Dominic pretended to give her a biscuit. Melkorn watched them, grinning. He didn’t know why Lenny was pretending to be a dog eating invisible biscuits out of Dominic’s hand, and he didn’t see Reilly anywhere, but at least he knew where Squirrelly was. These kids sure were funny.

A minute later, Squirrelly sped into the cave, panting hard, squeaking and waving her little paws around, clearly excited. Everyone watched, waiting.

Squirrelly waved her paws around some more, squeaking and chittering. Then she paused, as though she’d suddenly realized she was speaking Squirrel.

“Change back, Reilly!” Devona urged. “You have to change back!”

“Uh oh,” frowned Dominic.

Squirrelly jumped up and down in frustration. She scrunched her face, concentrating hard.

A minute passed. Two minutes.

Nothing.

Suddenly, Squirrelly scooted over to Gorb, hopping up and down and pointing at him.

Gorb shrugged, spreading his hands helplessly. “I kinna change ye back, Rrreilly. I kinna cancel Drrruid magic even if, ye know, d’Light rrresponded.”

Squirrelly hopped up and down in even more frustration, then scurried over to Melkorn, scratching at his boot like she was attacking it.

“Hi Squirrelly!” Melkorn waved, grinning. “Are you looking for Reilly too?”

Squirrelly’s hopping escalated from frustrated, to manic. She dashed back to Gorb, shaking her paw like a fist, and chittering angrily.

“I think she wants you to throw her,” Lenny suggested.

“No!” Kohra gasped.

Squirrelly nodded her head, pointing to Lenny, then Gorb.

“Yeah!” Lenny exclaimed. “She needs a shock to her system. Gorb, throw her against the wall! Or Hells, I will!”

Melkorn, wide-eyed with horror, vice-gripped Gorb's shoulder with one huge hand, and Lenny's with the other. “Nobody throws Squirrelly,” he growled.

“But she wants him to, Korn!” Lenny cried, trying, without success, to squirm out of his iron grasp.

He tightened his grip. “No! Nobody throws Squirrelly!”

By this point, Squirrelly was running around maniacally in circles, punching herself in the face, falling over, running into the wall.

Nope, still Squirrelly.

She scurried midway up the cave wall and leapt off, smashing herself onto the rocky floor. Still Squirrelly.

She stood up, a little woozy, swaying from side to side.

“Stop, Reilly!” Kohra cried. “You're going to hurt yourself!”

She tried to grab her, but Squirrelly ducked away, dashing up the cave wall, as high as she could, almost to the point of hanging upside down. Then she dropped, headfirst. Melkorn released Lenny and Gorb’s shoulders, diving to catch her. Of course, he missed.

Squirrelly smacked straight down on her skull, promptly expanding in size, morphing back into Reilly, clothes and all. Except she didn't move. Or open her eyes.

“Reilly!” Kohra shrieked, not caring whether she made noise or not.

Gorb felt around her neck. “I t’ink she’s ok. Just knocked 'erself out.” He reached into one of his pockets, bringing out a pouch, sniffing its contents. He tried another, then another, suddenly wrinkling his nose and pulling back like he'd been stung. “This'll do it!”

He waved the pouch under Reilly's nose.

A moment later, she groaned, swatting it away groggily and trying to sit up, “Whhhaaaa?”

Gorb gently held her down, speaking softly. “Yerrr ok, Rrreilly, just rrrest; don' move yet.”

“What? What happened?” Rubbing her eyes, she tried to focus on the blurry faces looming over her.

“You hit your head, really hard,” Devona explained gently.
“Sweet move, Squirrelly!” Lenny nodded approvingly.

Melkorn stared, wide-eyed. “Where’d you come from?” Then horrified, he shouted, “GET UP! YOU’RE CRUSHING SQUIRRELLY!”

Devona and Kohra both shushed him furiously.

He looked down, scuffing his foot like a little boy scolded by his mommy. “M’sorry,” he mumbled. “Just….” He trailed off, blinking rapidly. “I think she killed Squirrelly.” Tears dripped down his cheeks.

For once, Lenny didn’t laugh. Not at Korn. She took his elbow, guiding him further back into the cave, and tried to explain what had happened.

Melkorn nodded, grinning. He had no idea what she was talking about. Reilly wasn’t a squirrel!

“Ohhhhh, there's gotta be a better way,” Reilly moaned, accepting a few sips of water from Gorb as he helped her sit up.

She took a few more sips, rubbing her head. “Okay, listen before I forget stuff. Okay so, uhhh, the merchants! They’re buying weapons! Magic ones! It was like…. It was confusing. Like, um, what do you call those things where people get together and all compete to buy stuff? Like, farm stuff?”

“An auction?” asked Devona.

“Yeah! Like an auction! But without that guy who talks really fast.”

“Do you remember anything specific?” Devona asked.

“Oh yeah, lots!” Reilly replied, grogginess giving way to excitement. “Two of them got in a huge argument! One of them, the Whiteling lady — her name’s Graxia by the way — yeah, she was trying to buy some kind of explosion, uh, stuff, from the old, pony-tail man. He’s Kryndine. She kept saying she needed five barrels and no matter what, it HAD to be five.

But then that guy with the Earthborn bodyguard? He’s Thor-Gor. The bodyguard. I don’t know the merchant guy’s name. Anyway, he wanted three barrels. Him and Graxia got all angry with each other, because Kryndine only has seven barrels or something. I don't know how it all turned out. They kept offering him more money, and Kryndine seemed pretty happy.” She looked pleased with herself for remembering all this.

“What was in these barrels, did they say?” Devona asked.

Reilly shrugged, shaking her head. “Explodey-stuff?”

“Yeah, what does she look like, a barrel-ologist?” Lenny winked at Reilly.

“Dis is amazin’, Rrreilly!” Gorb exclaimed, gazing at her with pride.

“What else can you remember?” Kohra asked. “Anything else about, what’s her name? Graxia?”

Reilly nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! She's the leader of this whole place! A couple of times some soldiers came over and said stuff to her, and they kept saluting all the time, and seemed really scared to talk to her!”

She paused, thinking. “And she's really weird! She talks sometimes in some creepy-sounding language, and makes the others repeat all these phrases right after she says them.” She giggled. “It was hilarious. None of them, except…the lady? You know, in the grey suit? Yeah, she seemed to speak that language too, but all the rest of them — they were terrible at it! That angry guy who wanted three barrels, he kept muttering about how stupid it all was, until she — Graxia — threatened to throw him right out of the valley. Then he went along with it. But, I think he was right. It did sound pretty stupid. None of them even knew what they were saying!”

“Maybe it’s an incantation?” Kohra asked.

“Or a contract,” Lenny suggested. “You know how business people always make those long agreements that nobody understands?”

“Maybe she’s a Prrriest,” Gorb suggested.

Reilly shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t know. She’s creepy anyway. I don't think any of them like her. They're polite and everything, like they…. What's that word called? When you sort of bow down to the other person and do what they want and they're in charge?”

“Grovel?” suggested Lenny.

“Being a doormat?” suggested Dominic.

“Being employed?” suggested Lenny.

“Being a kid?” asked Kohra.

“Life?” suggested Dominic, laughing.

“Defer?” Lenny guessed.

“Yeah! Defer! They defer to her, but they don't like her.”

“Was it really necessary for you to find that exact word?” Lenny asked.

Reilly stuck out her tongue. Lenny stuck hers out too, and Reilly wound up to punch her.

“Did ye see de 'ooded Man?” Gorb interrupted. Reilly paused for a second, trying to decide which was more important, punching Lenny or getting back to the story. She looked at Gorb and shook her head. Then punched Lenny anyway. Lenny laughed.

“Did you get any other names?” prompted Kohra.

“Yeah!” Reilly nodded emphatically. “Uhhh….” She stared off into space.…

“The Klliik lady! She didn’t say much but her name was, oh Gods, something about grinning…. Yes! Hargrin! And her bodyguard, the guitar-guy, is Hewlin. Yeah! Hewlin and Hargrin. She didn’t seem to care much about the explodey-stuff. She kept asking when they could get to ‘the main event’.”

She scrunched her face in concentration (looking remarkably squirrel-like in that moment, Kohra thought). “Oh yeah, and the grey-suit lady! She’s Lila. She didn't say too much either, except when she talked to Graxia and that big guy in the robes. It was, like, spices and recipes or something. I think she’s really into cooking?”

Lenny shot Devona a knowing look. “See? They WERE talking about recipes….”

Suddenly, Reilly stamped her feet in excitement. “Oh, I almost forgot! She, the grey-suit lady — Lila — she totally has a bodyguard!” She looked at them mischievously. “He's invisible! I don't think anyone else even knows he's there; he stays out of the way, and he’s completely silent. I couldn’t hear him at all.”

“You can see INVISIBLE PEOPLE??” Melkorn gasped, eyes wide with wonder.

“Squirrelly can smell him, Melkorn!” Reilly giggled. “Squirrelly can smell you too, you know!” She giggled even harder.

Dominic coughed, muttering “Not only Squirrelly….”

Kohra snorted, but Melkorn was too amazed by the whole idea of invisible people, to notice.

“This is incredible, Reilly.” Devona was gazing at her like she was seeing her in a new light. “Squirrelly is, incredible….”

Reilly beamed.

“Is this enough then?” asked Kohra. “Can we leave now?”

“Wait! There's one more thing. I saved the best 'til last.” She grinned at Melkorn. “Like dessert!”

Melkorn grinned back, giving her a thumbs-up. He loved dessert.

“Okay!” Reilly took a deep breath. Her eight years of life experience had simply not prepared her for anything this exciting.

“So, the ‘main event’ that Hargrin kept talking about.… Uh, they didn’t start the bidding; that’s for tomorrow. But they did talk about what it was.” She stopped, waiting for someone to ask, relishing being the center of attention.

“Come ON!” Devona urged. “What is it?”

The little girl straightened up, looking around like she was about to deliver the most important announcement in the worlds. Which she was.

“Kryndine is selling a sword. A very, very, uh, veryveryveryveryveryveryvery SPECIAL sword.”

Her eyes glittered. “They called it the Giant Slayer. And CHECK. THIS. OUT. There's two people trying to buy it — the one Human guy whose name they never spoke, you know, the one guarded by Thor-gor? And the Klliik lady, Hargrin.” She giggled. “All Kryndine would say was that when they did start the formal bidding, they better not waste his time.” She grinned, bouncing on the balls of her feet at this point. “He has a minimum starting bid, and GUESS what it is!”

“How much?” asked Devona.

Reilly clapped her hands, jumping up and down on the spot. “How much do you think? Like, in gold?”

“One hundred!” Melkorn answered immediately, eyes wide. One hundred was, after all, a Very Big Number.

Dominic answered next. “I'll say, five thousand!”

“FIVE THOUSAND gold!” Kohra scoffed. “For a SWORD???” Dom just shrugged. “Okay, fine,” she said, rising to the challenge. “But I’m saying, like, one thousand. No! Two thousand!” She frowned. “Okay, fifteen hundred. That's it, fifteen hundred, on the nose.”

Gorb muttered something in Klliik that sounded decidedly inappropriate. “I kinna see a sword bein' wort' more den five hundrrred, maybe a t’ousand, tops. ‘Tis rrridiculous!”

“So what's your answer?” Reilly prompted.

“Seven hundrrred, fifty,” he finally decided.

“I'm last!” exclaimed Lenny happily. “A TRILLION!!” She laughed while everybody looked at her like she was crazy. “By which I mean, five thousand and one.”

“Hey! You can't do that!” Dominic protested. “Come on, Lenny!”

“Nope. After my extensive research into the market of magic, giant-slaying swords, five thousand and one is the most likely price.”

Dominic growled under his breath. “Fine, I’m changing my answer. Six thousand.”

“Six thousand and one!” Lenny chirped.

Dominic growled, louder this time. “Seven thousand.”

“And one!” Lenny sang. Dominic balled his fists.

“Okay, okay, come on, guys.” Kohra raised her hands in a “calm down” gesture. “We’re wasting time. Reilly, just tell us, okay? And we can get out of here.”

Reilly paused, relishing the dramatic moment. “Kryndine said….” She slipped into her “old man voice”. “I’m not gonna even listen to you whipper-snappers —”

“Did he really say ‘whipper-snappers’?” Lenny interrupted.

Reilly kicked her in the shin. “Any of you young ‘uns, unless….” She paused again, pretending to support her tired body with an invisible cane. “Unless it’s at least a cool MILLION.”

Lenny's jaw dropped in complete, unguarded surprise. But only for a moment. She laughed, pumping her fist in the air and sticking out her tongue at Dominic. “I win! I'm the closest!”

Dominic was too dumb-founded to even register Lenny’s teasing.

Kohra gaped, “How is that even possible? You could buy a whole army with that! Couldn't you?”

“Aye,” Gorb nodded.

“Reilly, you're amazing!” Devona gushed, wrapping the little girl up in a huge hug. Reilly smiled so widely it looked like she’d eaten one of Lenny’s “special mushrooms.”

“What's so special 'bout dis sword, I wonderrr,” Gorb murmured.

“Oh yeah! I remember now! The Whiteling lady, Graxia, was all super-serious and everything when she started the whole ‘main event’ conversation. She said a bunch of things in her creepy language, and then everyone got all quiet and she said something like, ‘You all know why we're here together, on this most important of days,’ and blahblahblah, a bunch of stuff. Then she said, ‘This is THE Giant Slayer of legend, my friends, forged by the Gods themselves before the Lost Age.’”

She paused momentarily, letting this sink in. “She said this sword is the only reason that the ‘pathetic humans’” (Reilly made air quotes with her fingers), “managed to survive the Cleansing at all! Then she said something like, ‘But this time, it will be different. This time, my friends, the sword is ours.’”

She finished with a dramatic, arm sweeping gesture, like it was the end of a Squirrelly & Snakey performance and she was waiting for the applause.

Sheer chaos ensued, everyone talking at once, far too loudly for their circumstances, with Kohra pleading for them all to BE QUIET and talk about all this on the way back to Grok's. 

They did quiet down, a little, but despite Kohra's vigourous protestations, decided to stay in the cave “just a little longer” so they could try and find out more. Devona managed to convince Gorb that this was CLEARLY why the Light had brought them here, that the true purpose of their Quest had finally revealed itself. It wasn’t just to follow the Hooded Man, she argued. It was to learn about this sword! She was persuasive, even Kohra had to admit to herself, and eventually they all agreed they would stay and watch just long enough to find out who ended up successfully buying the Sword. Then they would leave, get that information to Grok, and decide what to do from there.

The Wand of Secret Camping was the deciding factor in resolving their argument; they agreed they’d stay invisible all night, and through the day tomorrow. That way, their risk was as small as possible. (Although Kohra still grumbled that this was “the stupidest thing they’d ever done”).

They packed everything up, so they’d be ready to leave at the drop of a hat. Reilly, once she had rested, was going to do one more Squirrelly-mission, at night.